I think overwhelmed is an understatement.
I don’t really think there is a word for what I’m feeling.
I have 8 weeks left before I become a MUM! An actual, real life, mother of a child! It’s my dream, pretty much my ultimate goal in life, to become a mum, and it’s happening... very fast... but...
... what if I’m not very good? What if it all goes wrong? What if I break, or I break the baby, or I break my partner? What if we can’t afford to live? What if I bought the wrong bassinet, the wrong pram, the wrong car seat? (which was installed today)... WHAT IF?
OH MAN! It’s a pretty vicious cycle, which is not helped at all by my anxiety, my hormones, the way of the world right now, everything is just so crazy!
Don’t get me wrong. I’m excited... beyond excited to meet my baby, and I know I have so much support, and love, and kindness surrounding me. I just wish I convince my brain this.
My doctor is not concerned, she says it’s pretty usual for mum’s, especially first time mothers, to feel like this at this point in the pregnancy. ‘You’re whole world is about to change’ which is pretty much what everyone has been telling me, and YEAH, NO DAH!
All I can say is eeeep!
Love Molly.
